I CHOSE HIM!!!

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This blog is most relatable to ladies’ whose spouses are in merchant navy or army or some other field where they remain away for a long time. Have you ever faced these cheeky questions like?

He went on sail? When?? You poor thing!!

You must be feeling bad na?

Its tough to be without him!!

I really feel bad for you!!

How do you survive man???

Please don’t cry!! He will be back soon!!

I really can’t think of living without my hubby?

I can’t eat without him???

Awww, are you okay?

How you managing girl???

Gosh!! You live with his parents without him???

Why don’t you ask him to quit his job?

You shopping alone? I feel for you!!

Don’t you miss him every moment? 

Huh!! Well I have faced them a lot. In fact every time my hubby leaves for sailing I am flooded with such sympathetic questions, which actually sound senseless to me. Why do people behave so weird??? Or caring for that matter?? I have often seen people talking most about things, which according to them might trouble you. They seem to get blind to your happiness, success or heavenly life, but overly sensitive to your negatives. Why?? Are they even bothered? Or they just want to put you down? Or remind you constantly of your scrapes (according to them)?? It’s easy to talk, but people in our shoes can only understand the real thing.

Every married girl was once single, living life her way. Being married changes nothing except that now you have a life partner to share your life with. Then why is it that suddenly everything, especially our happiness or well being has to be linked to the presence or absence of our husbands?? It’s true that we love them and miss them terribly at times but that does not make us ill fated or a compromising soul in any way. We chose to get married and spend our lives with them, knowing the fact they won’t be there at times and we have to tackle things alone.

But that’s what our husbands and we love about ourselves. Isn’t it?? That we are strong, liberated, fierce and powerful. We are not some damsels in distress. We go out, make friends, party, stay fit, pursue our passions, take care of people around us, handle our responsibilities and smile all day long.  And why not?? We have every damn reason to stay happy.

It’s been 3 years I am married and touchwood my life has been a fairytale till now. My husband is a marine engineer and he loves me more than anything in the world. I have nothing to regret or feel low about. Of course his job is the reason we stay away for months and miss each other but that doesn’t make us unhappy or fragile or helpless. There is much more to being a sailor’s wifey than just being alone for 4-5 months. You get to travel the world, experience various cultures, meet strong and successful people, and most of all see your man walking down in uniform and epaulettes on shoulder. A feeling of proud which only rare get to experience. I feel so honored whenever I accompany my husband to some of his seminars or conferences, and all lovely ladies out there are recognized for their efforts, patience and all the support they provide to their husbands.

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Life is much more than reacting to such silly questions, I mentioned above. Being wives to men out on battlegrounds or sea or air, brings greater responsibilities. Our husbands are out there doing their jobs and we respect the fact. We knew everything beforehand but still chose to be with them. Doesn’t matter if we stay away for sometime, what matters is that we love each other.

For all those people who say we will never marry our daughter to an army or navy officer, for all those who talk behind our back, who pity us and our lives, please don’t!! Please don’t be scared or worried for us!! We are way happier than you can even imagine. If you really want to change something, change your views. Get a wider perspective to life, love and marriage. It’s not always about sticking to each other but being each other’s strength. It’s not always about choosing the “safest or always available” option. Life is tricky, no-one knows what happens next.

So before you pop up these silly questions next time, remember we are women with gravity and much courage than one can ever imagine.

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Each and every word you’ve written is so true and is motivation for others! The courage,determination,love,passion and longing that a Mariner’s spouse has is an inspiration for others. Beautiful! Thank you for such a magnificent post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RUPS says:

      Hey….Thanks for such a beautiful feedback…m really glad that people can connect to my writing…and that it’s an inspiration for others to always look forward….Thanks a lot 😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

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