I slept late as he called me up late in the night. This time difference, huh!! Totally killing at times. But I always look forward to his calls no matter what time it is. After all when you are away for months, calls are your only console. We share every little details of the day and our ongoing lives. That how badly we are missing each other and cant wait to be together again!! And every time he keeps the call, I feel so heavy hearted. So the same happened, he called at 1, we talked about everything happening around, cracked jokes, giggled, discussed about our work, confessed how badly we miss each other and at last kept the call.
I was missing him and couldn’t sleep now. That empty side of bed was killing me. I tossed and turned for around an hour, thinking about him and various other things. I don’t remember when did I sleep. My alarm broke the silence of a cold morning and millions of those fancy (sometimes useless) dreams going on in my mind. After so much of struggle to keep away the thoughts sleeping again, I opened my eyes. Sunshine was peeping in through the window as another beautiful day awaits. I looked at the other side of my bed, which was empty and felt a void within me. ” I miss you a lot, that empty side of bed hurts me. I miss your warm hugs, cuddles, pampering and all the fun together. I know you call me everyday but sometimes that’s just not enough and I wish I could see you. I wish you were here, enjoying a hot cup of coffee with me on a cold morning. I miss you each time I see our picture and hear your voice. I miss you”
Felt so much inside my heart, which I really can’t describe but immediately I looked away, wore my jacket, and came out of bed. I unlocked doors and let the fresh air come in. It was 7 in the morning but since its winter, it was still quiet and slow. I quickly poured a cup of water, kept it in microwave and waited for it to be done. Various thoughts were going on my mind. Am I sad? Why am I missing him so much? Am I Feeling low? Lonely? Am I experiencing mood swings??? Am I PMSing??? Huh!!! I couldn’t exactly decide and was still wondering when the beep from microwave broke string of my thoughts. I quickly gulped the water and ran upstairs to get ready for my crossfit.
This is the best part of my day, getting ready to do something really good for myself. Taking a move everyday to a healthier and stronger version of myself. And I really put my 100 percent into it. This is the time when nothing goes in my mind except me. All I care is about myself. And suddenly I realized my mind has moved from being gloomy to thoughtful as now I was thinking about what is lying ahead!! About how much I am going to run today? What goals I should set?? What exercise and all!! “Good going girl” I said to myself, smiled and began moving towards my fitness goals.
I worked out robustly at cross fit, met my friends and had a really good time. All this long, my mind wandered nowhere. I was happy. I came back from the gym and fixed myself a healthy breakfast as I was starving. I ate, completed some of the daily errands, checked my cell phone for some missing calls or messages, talked to my mum and finally came back to my room. I was casually cleaning things up when I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt something so positive and motivating from inside. I was definitely looking fitter. My hard work is paying off, I felt. I could even feel that my endurance level has gone higher, about which I feel really glad.
All those grumbling and miserable thoughts have now disappeared. I was feeling more optimistic, confident, and strong and was wondering what happened to me in the morning??? There is so much positive going around and I was sulking. That too for nothing. He is out for work but calls me frequently, talk for hours and most of all loves me madly. Plus, I have so much of stuff here to do. He has trusted me with so much before he leaves to sail across blue waters. “He knows I am the strongest and I should behave like one.” I quickly scrolled through to-do list in my phone and my eyes popped up seeing I have so many jobs to be completed. What am I doing standing here in front of mirror??? I should be hurrying up. I immediately took my clothes and towel lying scattered on that empty side of bed (which was hurting me in the morning) and ran to take a shower.
Soon I was out completing my tasks for the day. By the time it all ended it was 5 in the evening and I was super tired. But still on my way I had to shop for some fresh fruits and veggies. All done, I came back home and crashed on my bed. I was again staring at the empty side of bed through my half open eyes. Before my mind could ramble, I dozed off and it shut down. I Woke up to the loud ringtone of my cell phone. My friend was calling. I totally forgot we had to meet. I woke up and sat on my bed. I realized its time and that I should be ready soon. I was staring at a picture of us kept in front of me on a table. I murmured, “I miss you” but this time I was smiling. I rolled on the other side of bed and stretched myself.
Looking at our picture something was going on my mind again, but this time very different. “What’s there to be sad about? You are with me always and soon you will be back. This empty side of bed is an advantage till then, as I can just come; throw my stuff onto bed and crash. I know I miss you terribly, but for now it’s my time and till you return, I am wearing the pants in our relationship. I am the boss and I get to do what I want. I AM THE PARTY!!”
I sprang out of bed and opened the window. It was dark already as winters are here but there was something so bright and perky about this evening. And so perky about me.
I quickly got ready, wore my heels, put on my jacket and the brightest lipstick ever. And yes!! The biggest and brightest smile…. coz I AM THE PARTY!!