In love with “Real Woman”


The other day I was just casually sitting on my bed, watching a movie, when my husband clicked a picture of me. The camera sound made me realize what is happening around and I just snatched my phone from him. I kind of yelled at him, “Why did u take my picture? I look so bad!” He casually smiled and said, “Well, I never find u bad, u are beautiful and I love this picture”. I smiled back at him and suddenly felt so beautiful even in those baggy pyjamas I was wearing, without any kohl in eyes or color on my lips.  Tucked inside my quilt, I was a total mess, but still he finds me beautiful. He finds me attractive. Well, that’s what real love is.

My mind suddenly wandered that why do we only see ourselves as good-looking when we are put together, in perfect lighting, with a perfect expression and a perfect smile beautifying our faces? This is something impossible every time, as situations might differ. Then, why are we so critical of our bodies maturing? Why are we so hard on ourselves and in accepting the reality?

Being a wife, a daughter, a mom, a businesswoman, a doctor or whatever posts we hold, we have million things going on, in our mind every moment. It’s our basic instinct to care more about people around us, which sometimes take a toll on our beauty and overall health. We might not be that fancy, groomed and upbeat we used to be. And that’s because of so many characters we play, so many responsibilities we share.

We get married, become wives and have an entire family to look after. Soon our family expands as we give birth and become doting moms. All this is not easy and somewhere in the run we lose our glowing skin, long hair and chubby cheeks.

“While cooking your favorite meal, I may not be able to conceal my dark circles or freckles. Running around my kid, feeding and taking care of him may not allow me to wear those high heels I used to. Sitting beside my sick mom, I have no idea whether I am in best of my clothes. Amongst all this my workplace demands my presence and I have to spend hours on desk. While I return home, again I have things on mind like, your cold and cough, your allergies, your backpain. I am worried about the snotty nose my kid suddenly started with. I am concerned about our parents who might not be in best of their health. Also the overhead tank and the growing algae inside it take my attention and I’m worried it needs to be scrubbed and the water needs to be changed. Tasks keep hitting my head one by one, with the list being interminable. When you return home from work, unfortunately, you might be seeing just the worst version of me. My hair might be rough and not made properly. I may not smell of lavenders and roses and I will greet you in a comfy loose T- shirt rather than a hot bodycon dress. I will be more of an affectionate wife rather than a sexy hot chick you dated before. Unlike everything they show in a romantic bollywood movie. But that should not matter. “

What matters is the love and compassion we have for each other. What matters is that he is in love with my soul and not my outer beauty. This is the reason he will still see the same woman, standing at the door, her eyes full of love like the one he first saw may be 10 years back, no matter what she is wearing and how old she looks.

There is no denying that we all have insecurities. But the more you let your flaws make you distinctive, the more you will value things that make you who you are. Whenever you feel something about your physical appearance isn’t “beautiful” or “right”, just recall what you love most about yourself and take it from there. No matter how many faults you find in yourself, I promise you there are better. Just dig a little deeper to recognize them!

I totally believe that the beauty of a woman is not in the fanciest of clothes she wears, envious figure she carries, or the color she put on her lips. Her real beauty lies in her eyes, doorway to her heart, where the true love dwells. Her actual beauty is not her fair skin or long hair, but her pure soul. The care she gives, the passion she shows and the pain she feels. The beauty of a woman, never fades with passing years, but only grows!

This incident was such a modest experience for me. And I made sure I share this with you all on my blog so that you are never upset or annoyed if your husband clicks not a flawless picture of you. Or if your expression isn’t a happy one. Or if your freckles or dark circles or bad skin is prominent. Remember, he loves you above all this and for what you are, not how you look. No matter how old you, he will love you till his last breath.

And yes for once it was interesting to see the woman who my husband sees every day, every moment. The one that sits across the table, insecure, lost, barefaced and all messed up at times, but full of love and thankful for the gift of marriage. And he loves that woman, real woman!!



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